I still have my boyfriend. I can happily say that I am relieved by that. I don't want those feelings about having to break up with him to come back. It frightens me, and having to do that would be the most difficult thing in my life thus far. I'm fighting every thought and reason for that, and trying to look forwards, and not behind me of what happened today. This will be hard, but its a new year, and maybe this will be my goal, my new years resolution. I'm going to try my best. I've made my decisions to be with my beloved, and I will try my best to work towards that. I am going to try and promise myself that. First week back in berkeley will be very weird, I will have to miss out on most of the events and parties happening at that frat. Hopefully it wont affect me a lot, but I know I do not like the feeling of missing out if people I know are going, but I guess I'll have to make sacrifices. Maybe I'll go out to eat those nights, or play some card games. It's just the experience of feeling music in the air and the lively atmosphere, and good company. As long as I get past the first week, I can continue on my daily routine of classes, etc. And we'll see how life goes on from there.