i dont know what to say in this blog anymore. sometimes it mades me sad, that when i text him, i dont receive the same kind of replies i use to. i learn never to take things for granted anymore. even the tiniest things like this. like how he texts me. theres so much little things now that i can appreciate. its all about the little things. i see those pictures on my walls, and i just learn to appreciate every single moment of it. the bike rides, eating out, walking anywhere together. everything is so precious. holding hands. a single hug. i go by each day, asking, are things going to be alright. and im just too scared to ask him that for I am afraid what he'll say. and i rather just wait. i think about that every day. the fear that things wont be alright is always there. i care for this someone dearly, if only he could see that again. see though everything and see the open arms. maybe im living in a fairytale, hoping for the perfect fairytale ending where we ride off in horses together. but what can i say, im a romantic sometimes, i like doing things for others, surprise them in the corners of their room, play a song on the violin Ive been practicing all day for, maybe even on the guitar, make a little homemade gift every now and then, show him he means something. sometimes i just want to cry, and dont stop crying until it puts me to sleep.