every time he tells me hes in pain, i feel for him. i feel pain too. i feel pain when he tells me those things. and i also feel pain randomly throughout the day because of what happened. i know pain is only temporary. and it will go away. i just wonder when it will. i wonder what would make it go away faster. is it the foods i eat. the things i do. the amount of exercise i get. who i am with? i want to make him feel better, do things together to remind him that things are going to be alright, that things are going to be okay, that he will be okay as well. and the more you think that, the more it would start to come true.

I have always thought that the more you concentrate on something, the more you think about it, the liklier you can make it happen. each day, i try to think about how things can get better. with every bad thought that pops into my mind, i try to think of 3 good thoughts on top of that, and i concentrate hard on that until believe it. the mind is a hard tool to control, but the mind is what controls your emotions. every now and then, when i do feel my chest getting heavy, i think of those 3 good thoughts that reminds me why i have to keep going, the thought that pain is only temporary,  the thought that he is worth it all, and the hope that things will get better

i hope things are on their way to getting better, and the pain i feel has lessened from the beginning. at least realizing that makes me feel somewhat better that pain does not last for ever, that it will lessen in time. which it has. the only thing that can feed this pain is if something drastic were to happen again. i do not want to grow apart, i do not want this to end, i want this to work. i believe it can, the evidence is there, all signs point to it, i believe we truly can, with will and determination, possibilities are endless.

Aviation is proof, that given the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible