I wish I had more to write in this blog. I'll start now. I don't know if these are my hormones speaking or not but I just feel lifeless right now. Not the lazy, tired, dead kinda lifeless, but more like the I'm not looking forward to anything kinda lifeless. Like christmas is around the corner, but I'm not looking forward to it. It feels like it's going to be a disappointment that day. Not because the usual, "I didn't get what I want, so imma smash up all my chocolates," but the disappointment where you expect something to be really thoughtful, especially during christmas time, but its not so thoughtful at all. It makes me depressed thinking about it right now, even if it's something that might or might not happen. Today was just a lifeless day, depressing...

Not even new years. I don't know whats going on me with me :( I just wanna be sad