Only in New Zealand does it snow in summer.

One thing I've learnt is that it's hard to buy a present for someone you don't know anymore.

sobered up

On that trip, I had asked for a gin and tonic on the plane (from having been drinking since I was 2).

(I was 4.)



Now, I ask for orange juice.

16 december; 11.07pm

Colours dreaming rainbow white
A soul, I’m clouded a rabid hue
My heavy hands are useless to write
Saddest thoughts of a blood red blue
A sojourn where the bird was freed
An empty cage now lonely open
My mind released but still I meet
With memory in my dark devotion
They kiss and tell a winged revolt
A staged coup to usurp you
Out of my life again once more
But I think I’m happiest with you in view
But not too close it only stings me
Set aflame my old raw wounds
That giggle in their hedonistic orgy
As I crawl out from my dusty tomb




I'll be back next year.

allaroundbackgroundsound: Inside Your Head - Eberg; Burn Piano Island - The Blood Brothers

i think i love my isight

It rained. (Still is, if you're wondering.)

(Like cats, and dogs.)

And because I am an old lady in disguise, complete with rheumatism but nothing to cure it,

I had a headache.

And I started seeing things.


So I made myself a hot chocolate.



And now,

I feel much better, thanks!


It's funny to think how in twenty four hours, I'll be in mid-air. Maybe floating above a cloud that's floating above a sea that's letting the world float on it.


allaroundbackgroundsound: Hardcore Days & Softcore Nights - Aqueduct; Our Wasted Lives - the Thrills

"so, see you next year"

Culprit, culprit. Not even a goodbye hug!
Ridiculous.

fitter happier

So this is what happened. Once again, I went stark raving mad.

Give it up for the Man Above.
I think I love Him even more, even more.

no way!

dear joy:

jon says:
anyways did joy pass u anything'?

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
no

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
wait is it the dead flower?

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
she gave me a dead flower

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
for my birthday present

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
i'm sharing room with her in malaysia la

jon says:
eeee. u are sharing a room with her? good luck man.

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
yah how

jon says:
ahahahaha. just the fact that she showers like once a year. might kill u already

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
well, you're the one related to her. not me.

before tomorrow

jon says:
lol. im a much better driver now .

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
haha i hope so

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
for your own sake

jon says:
ahaha i am!! seriously!. i havent bumped into any curbs since that day.

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
i nearly died cause of you

jon says:
i still feel very bad la!

★CIGARETTE BARBIE says:
good

jon says:
ahaha i was expecting more off a , "its ok"


allaroundbackgroundsound: The Eraser - Thom Yorke

oh no, jac

You silly girl.
What have you done now?

where sleep has taken me

The papers are finally over. Now I am stuck in the unescapable (and cramped) crevice between a rock and a hard place, wondering what I will do with my life when the results are released. My parents will finally realise that the thing they have been trying to futilely bring up as a decent human being is nothing but a mass of glob born from the Slyme That Doth Inhabit Thy Nose.

In the meantime, I pencil in superfluous hours of naptime in my busy schedule. (Who is she trying to kid?) Naps that precede and succeed glasses of milk - yes, I will again remind you of my lactose intolerance - and packets of seaweed. If there is anything Japan has accomplished in its historical existence, it is the manufacture of seasoned seaweed. And of course, the export of it. Add to that list instant noodles and Pocky and there you have it, the answer to life's most probing questions.

I'm so damned useless it's not funny any more.

allaroundbackgroundsound: Burn That Broken Bed - Iron & Wine and Calexico

a new life

I often thought that you'd be better off left alone
Well throw a circle round a man with broken bones
But darling when I see you, I see me

It's alright
I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright
I look to you as my only friend
It's alright
I never thought that I could feel there's something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

You always looked like you had something else on your mind
When I try to tell you, you tell me "nevermind"
But darling when I see you, you see me

I wanna tell you that I never loved anyone else
You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself
But darling when I see you, you see me

I can't see them.
Maybe I shouldn't?

how to stop worrying and start dying

Yes, Plato. How to?

Yet still I have this indisputable feeling coming over me that were I quite like Plato, I would have more problems than I do now, albeit worrying about what to wear would be so passe, so uncouth. Mostly because togas would stay the dress du rigour. And being male and an Ancient Athenian, my bathing habits would mean a lighter water bill and better inter-causeway relations. (My visit to The Other Side looms ever so much closer.)

It is that time of year again, when I begin to rummage for books that I have already read, simply because the best (and worst) time for old feelings to come back is now. And then, of course, because Life just doesn't like me very much lately, I cannot find my book. Two things I desperately hate misplacing (the more politically correct advocate for self-denial) are books, and clothes. And there are naturally other things not of the material nature but the list amounts to 68 pages, too much for this little server to handle.

I liked being miserably happy. Very much, thanks.

I want my serving of happiness this season, simply because I deserve it and it deserves me.